via Brainless Tales
Who did you send that to?
This sentence is grammatically incorrect. It seems innocuous enough, but it is wrong. What to do?
Should you correct people’s use of who versus whom, misusing literally, or saying nucular? This is an interesting social phenomenon—many people have very strong feelings about correcting other people’s language use. The company Grammarly recently posted a poll to its twitter feed asking:
It immediately struck me: this is a total share your thoughts ~ hold your thoughts scenario!
There are times when it is helpful and expected to share your thoughts with others, and there are times when it will be considered rude and could upset people. So when do you hold which thoughts?
First, let’s look at the results:
Have you ever had an experience like this:
You’re working with a group of people, and there’s a long discussion about the best way to solve a problem. One person wants A, another person wants B, a third person wants C… but you know the best option: it’s Z! It’s so obvious! You think to yourself, It would be SO much easier and faster if everyone just listened to my idea!
Everyone has ideas and thoughts and reactions. And we usually think our ideas are the right ones, the best ones, the ones that make the most sense. Trouble is, other people are probably thinking the same thing!
This is just one of several things to consider when deciding whether or not to share your idea with the group. As with many things, a good way to inform that decision is to find a balance!
Finding a Balance Between Sharing a Thought and Holding a Thought
Not everyone finds it easy to meet new people. Many neurotypical adults have the realization after college that they don’t really know how to make friends. For people with autism, social challenges and differences in thinking style can make meeting people even more difficult.
I’ve found it helpful to discuss the concept of meeting people in a new group using a handy analogy: finding a balance.
Finding a Balance Between
Revealing Information and Holding Back
Whether your first day at a new school, a new job, or a new club, we join new groups relatively frequently. Each group has its own dynamic—it’s own way that the people involved tend to interact. And it can be extremely complex to figure out every group’s expectations of what to say, how to act, whether to be funny or serious, relaxed or focused.
One of the concepts I’ve worked on with students with ASD when joining a new group is the balance of revealing information about yourself and holding back information. Like with all balance challenges, either extreme can cause predictable problems.